And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
