ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
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