Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
