out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
