watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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