You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
