I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
