I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
