just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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