You're my little dorito
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
