your room smells of hookers.
And success
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
