I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
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