She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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