his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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