If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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