I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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