New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
