oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
