This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
