Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
