I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
