I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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