You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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