the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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