let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
