I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
