Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
