Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
They have beer where we have blood.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
