I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
