When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
