At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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