So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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