Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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