We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
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