I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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