i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
