So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
