Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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