So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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