Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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