I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
