how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
