i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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