So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
