Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
