I can't watch pbs sober anymore
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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