stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
40s are totally the cure
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
