CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
