Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
