'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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